Thought

I remembered last night about an experience I had one day last week.  I told my sister, but she didn't really respond.

So I was on yahoo.com checking my email, and I guess the cursor landed over the weather section, so it opened up. Now, I have it set up to Mesa, AZ, because that's the weather I need, since that's where I am pretty much most of the time. But this time it didn't say Mesa. The crazy thing it said was Budapest. The only Budapest I know of is Hungary, and the only person I know of in Hungary is James. So I don't know what that's supposed to mean. The other weird thing is that I made sure I hadn't set it to Budapest when I wanted to see what the weather was like there, back in like LAST YEAR. So, I don't know if it's a sign or what. But I've checked my email before and after that one time it said Budapest, and each time it says Mesa. :S

Just a random thought. Could it mean something? Or do I just want it to mean something? 

(Oh, and I'm SOOO Excited for horse lessons tonight. :D I get more pics hehe.) 

So it ends...

Alright, so this is the day of endings for me. :( Sad, I know, especially on one of the things, but that's life. It's beginnings and endings. 

First off... I finished my SPE 222 class. I'm happy about that one ending. 

Secondly, I have finished my last day of classes. Hurray! Now I just have 3 finals. -_-

And lastly for now, I finished the revising of my story, Garnet! :D I'm happy because I'm done, but I'm also sad because I'm done. So mixed emotions on that. =/ If anyone wishes to read all 62 pages, I'll be happy to email it to a certain few, but other than that, you'll all just have to wait until I get it published. XD If I get it published. Now I just have to work on the cover illustration. Maybe I'll do that, since I don't have anything tomorrow besides Visiting Teaching and work. =/ Maybe better yet, I'll work on it on Thursday. I'm not going anywhere until Horse riding lesson #2 on Thursday night. :D More pics of me on horses sometime, if I can get someone to take pics of me. =/

There's my blurb for today. Not that anyone cares. :) Well, TTYL. I'm off for a much needed night's rest. :D

Crazy Bored

Alright, so I'm really bored, so I'll post a random blog. 

I realized recently, that I have not explained the title of my blog. "Musings of a Marvelous Me". Pretty much, I graduated. Yeah, i know, I graduated. It was amazing. XD Anyways..... One of the graduation presents I got was a book called "Musings of a Marvelous Me". It's kind of like a journal, and when I can, I'll post a pic of the cover. It's really cute. But basically, it's a journal/diary type thing and in it, it's got some quotes and a place to put the date. The first quote on the first page says, "The kind of beauty I want most is the hard-to-get kind that comes from within - strength, courage dignity" - Ruby Dee. 

Now how cool is that? It's been a while since I looked through it, but on the first page (and the only one i've written on) it's me talking about my Wisdom Teeth extraction from last June. (No wonder I'm so dumb now, eh? XD) So basically, here's what I said. 

"'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' As I go in to have my wisdom teeth pulled/extracted, no matter how much pain I am in, I will be stronger for going through with it." 

Not that long, and not exactly that deep, but it's pretty interesting all the same. 

I can tell the book is LDS in nature, by the fact that many of the quotes are from former General Authorities and Presidents of the Church. Here's one from Hugh B. Brown. 

     "There never was another like you in this world. God throws the mold away every time he makes a man.... I think He made you what you are in order that you might do some particular thing better than anyone else in the world could do it." 

Doesn't that just give you the warm fuzzies? I know it does me. We're all unique and better than others at different things. Perhaps my talent for drawing may bring someone to know of the church. Or perhaps my singing will bring someone peace. We don't know, but we all have a work to do. 

And now that I've commandeered the past few minutes, I hope you think about what the quote means to you. Maybe the Lord has something special in store for you. But that's up to you to figure it out. And if you have any amazing quotes, be sure to share it with someone you care about. :) GOOD LUCK ON FINALS for all you crazy college students that are reading this! ;)

Horse riding lessons

Alright, so Friday (last night) I started riding lessons. First off, I'm excited because it's horses. I mean, seriously, just the thought of being around horses makes me happy. Second, I'm excited, because I can now saddle a horse by myself....well, alright, I'm not that good, yet. But I got to tighten the cinch on one of the horses. It requires a lot of muscle. lol  Something which I can tell I'm gonna get from doing this every week, and maybe I'll be able to go to the house of one of the people in my neighborhood and ask to ride their horse. Big maybe, though. I'm not sure I entirely trust their horse.... Anyways, on to number three. Third off, I'm excited because I had a lot of fun, and i'm not sore, besides what feels like bruises on my seat. I'm pretty sure it's from when I'd lose my balance and rhythm, and I bounce up and down on the saddle. I know they aren't bruises, but they definitely feel like it. lol Fourthly, I'm excited because the lady that's teaching me and my sister, said that she might takes us on a cattle round up or something. =/ I can't remember what it's called. But imagine, when I get good, and can spend longer amounts of time on the back of a horse.... All day, pretty much! :D That just made my day. Anyways, so that's pretty much it for the lesson. I have a pic of me on Hawk, a horse that was rescued from abusive owners. He's nice, and it's pretty easy to post on. (Posting is bouncing up and down in rhythm with the horses feet, but it's not hitting the saddle, unless you mess up. lol) Anyways, that's me and my first horse riding lessons. And I'm not even as sore as I thought I would be. :D Woohoo!

Bring Me To Life

Alright, so I know I've already posted a blog today, but I'm afraid if i don't do this one, I'm gonna keep everything in, and I'm gonna be super depressed, although I already am. I can't wait until horse riding lessons. When I can focus on the here and now, and not have to worry about the crap that's going on in my life right now. 

The title of this post is the title of the song by Evanescence. It pretty much explains how I feel right now. I cut out a verse, because it didn't apply as well, and if i didn't, the post would be huge and long. 

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
leading you down into my core
where I’ve become so numb without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold 

until you find it there and lead it back home

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become

now that I know what I’m without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become

frozen inside without your touch, without your love darling only you are the life among the dead

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become

Anyways, just to let it out, I am depressed right now. People say I deal with stress well, but all I do is push it down until it about explodes. Alright, maybe it doesn't explode, but I hide it until I can't hide it anymore. It will eventually come out, and usually by way of frustration and tears. 

Alright, enough of the "me time". No one wants to read depressing things. Well, I'm off to bed to see if that will help. Ciao

Garnet

Alright, so I'm writing this story. I'm sure everyone has heard about it by now. It's hard not to talk about it when I'm getting so much revision done right now. I've done about 6 pages in a week. Which doesn't sound like much, but I have been working on it for almost a year, and before this past week, I haven't done anything with it for several weeks. So it makes it exciting. 

I would tell what it's about, but I get the weirdest looks when i tell people what it's about, and it doesn't make sense without seeing the play or reading the book, and if you don't understand what's going on, it's like, What the heck? That's so depressing! And I guess it is, because I almost cried writing it. Which doesn't usually happen. At least not while I'm writing. 

Now, I know I should be working on school stuff, like the essays I need to work on, but I just want to be done with revising it. Every time i start revising, I always stopped, and then I'd start and stop, and I want the end to be as good as the beginning. If I can get it done within the next month, I'll be amazed. And happy beyond belief. I can't wait until it's done. And I won't be bored, because I have another story in the works, although it has been for like the past 5 years. It'll all be cool when I get it done. 

Anyways, I just thought I'd post what I'm doing. Not that anyone could care. If you want a finished copy, you'll have to wait for it to be published. :P 

haha Jk. I'll decide if I want to let copies get out before I get if published, and if I get it published. BIG if.

Confused

Alright, so I totally found out this weekend that my sister got a 7500 dollar a year scholarship. :O I only get 2000 a year. I'm not as angry as I was, but I'm still WAY upset. It wouldn't bug me, except I applied about 2-4 months before she did. (I was done by December, she started at like the end of February.) I had decided my major at the beginning of Senior year, and she hadn't chosen it, and I still doubt that she knows what she wants to do for real. 

I found out, and I couldn't stop crying. (I know, it's pathetic that a college student would cry over something like that.) Well, add in the fact I am naturally emotional, and I am stressed. So that was pretty much my Saturday night. 

Plus I have no idea how I feel about the guy I like, who is currently serving a mission. I still like him, a lot, but I don't know what the Lord wants me to do. Again, add in the fact I worked on a powerpoint by myself that's due this Friday. And I don't trust my group to get anything done. *sigh* I'm beginning to think that I'm not cut out for college. =/

On a more positive note, I'll probably be in the College of Education this time next year, and I finally got up the nerve to ask this teacher I volunteer with for a letter of recommendation. I know a week isn't enough time, but at least I asked before it was like the day before. And it was actually just under a week and a half, but I still feel bad about that. =/ 

Anyways, I'm babbling on. I love my sister, and it's not that I blame her for the whole scholarship thing, it's just that I'm really hating ASU right now. >:( Anyways, I should get going off to bed so I can finish my English paper proposal that's due tomorrow. It's really sad, but I have to take things one step at a time. =/  Just do the homework that's due tomorrow. =/ I know that's not how to live, but If I don't, then I doubt anything will get done. *Sigh* I want to go back to being a kid.