This is going to be an open and honest blog. Well, most of mine are anyways, but usually I try to keep it upbeat. This is not one of those times.
First: I'm not sure if teaching is for me. I started another blog about it, but I didn't post it because it was in the moment, and I was overwhelmed. But I'm still thinking about whether or not it's for me. I'm not quite as overwhelmed, and I can tell I'm going to LOVE my Intern teacher. She is amazing. :D I've also decided that maybe I want to broaden my horizons before I just decide to stick to Franklin. Jordan Elementary school seems like a cool place to teach and be. But still.... it's been on the edge of my mind.
Secondly: This one relates to the title. I feel so left behind. I don't go out with friends.... or at all for that matter. I don't date. I don't talk on the phone. I don't do just about anything. I work, I go to school, and I go home and get on my computer, and I just feel like I'm missing something. And I know that's my own fault, and I need to figure out what I need to change. (Although I have an idea.) But I also feel like all my friends are leaving me. And maybe it's because I'm pulling myself away. Maybe I am the one that's withdrawing. But I always hit this point. Anytime I think I'm starting to make friends, something happens and I end up being alone again. That's what I don't know how to change. I'm sure I'll figure it out, but it just always seems to happen.
Anyways, I'm going to end this before I get totally depressed. Week 2 is almost over. I just need to take things one day at a time.
I felt that way the first couple weeks of my internship last semester. I was like, "MOM!!! what am I supposed to now that I'm this far already? I don't think I can do this!" But I ended up LOVING teaching. Having a good placement teacher also helps a lot. Give it a shot. :)
ReplyDeleteCourtney!!! You're too hard on yourself sometimes. There's no way I'm leaving you! Life has been crazy lately, and I will admit that I have been able to "get out there" a bit and meet some pretty cool people. I'm very much an introverted person, so I had to just push that all aside, and have some fun. It's good for the soul :)
Shall we plan the Pushing Daisies Marathon for Spring Break?
Life can be overwhelming at times but I know you will make the right choices for you!!
ReplyDeleteMake sure you have ballance in your life. It is something we all have to work on regularly!
You could always come over and be my model while I practice...