You know, it's strange how life is sometimes. It's a roller coaster. There are ups and downs. And what's even more amazing is how fast those ups and downs come at you. After several weeks of mostly ups, I'll talk about those first, I hit the first little dip. And for me, it was a little tiny bump downwards, But that bump was followed by a succession of little dips in the ride. The beginning of this week was the culmination of the the little dips life threw at me, and all of a sudden it seemed like I was in an abyss. Where I still feel like I am, although I can see a small light showing a little uphill in the roller coaster.
Each little thing starting a week and a half ago brought me up. Friday, May 29th, I got to lead the music at Elder Richard G. Scott's YSA fireside at the ASU Institute building. So, of course, I was second to shake his hand. (I have proof! lol Apparently they turned off the camera to show some info and when they turned it back on, it showed me shaking his hand. ^_^) So YAY! happy thing! Then the next week we left on vacation, and i had a blast. Between the Grand Canyon, shopping, a trip up to the top of snowbowl, and horseback riding, I was on an emotional high. (Although, by the time it was about time for me to come home, my sisters and I were getting tired and were snipping at each other.) Saturday, I felt so glad to be home, Sunday I got to hold Grace in Relief Society, and everything was fine.
But, as we know, what goes up must come down. So then, the little dips downward started, and they got bigger and bigger. Monday after work, I just felt down. I thought it was because I was lonely because Alana was nannying and the rest of the family was out of town.
I found the perfect song for my feelings.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ND2-XCcwzt4
The most appropriate line is "I'm tired of staying at home. I'm bored and all alone. I'm sick of wasting all my time." <--- That's the story of my life.
Then yesterday, I felt like I had no friends. Which I've felt before, nothing new, I can deal with that. Then on top of that, Alana knew I was sad and still turned away from me to help her friend. I cried myself to sleep, feeling worthless, friendless, and hopeless. For a long time, I cried. And I'm still not over it. I feel like I have no friends that will talk to me. No friends that'll start a conversation with me. I thought friends were supposed to hang around and do fun stuff with you. I thought they were supposed to be able to help you up when you feel sad or down. Obviously, I don't have anyone I can call a friend. If I did, maybe they'd have heard my plea for company and helped before I stated it plainly.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mothers' Day
What a day, what a day. Today was Mothers' Day. And also the day when I gave my Relief Society Lesson.
The lesson was on "Responding to Persecution with courage and Faith." It was interesting to prepare, and kinda fun to give. I put off preparing until Saturday night, when I should have worked on it all week, but the Lord blessed me with the ability to teach. Perhaps that's why I decided to go into teaching. Everyone told me they thought I did a wonderful job, which really made me feel good. And I admit, I kinda had fun doing it. ^_^ There were no major mishaps, and only a part where I felt rather silly. I said something like, "Denying the Holy Ghost is.....*pause to think*...... bad. I had a lot of comments, and this time, left things out because of time, and not because I forgot them, so I'm learning!
Anyways, just thought I'd write a bit to keep updated.
I love my mom and I am grateful for all she does for me. I don't think anyone else would have been as perfect of a mom for me as mine is. ^_^ She's awesome. Happy Mothers' Day! <3
The lesson was on "Responding to Persecution with courage and Faith." It was interesting to prepare, and kinda fun to give. I put off preparing until Saturday night, when I should have worked on it all week, but the Lord blessed me with the ability to teach. Perhaps that's why I decided to go into teaching. Everyone told me they thought I did a wonderful job, which really made me feel good. And I admit, I kinda had fun doing it. ^_^ There were no major mishaps, and only a part where I felt rather silly. I said something like, "Denying the Holy Ghost is.....*pause to think*...... bad. I had a lot of comments, and this time, left things out because of time, and not because I forgot them, so I'm learning!
Anyways, just thought I'd write a bit to keep updated.
I love my mom and I am grateful for all she does for me. I don't think anyone else would have been as perfect of a mom for me as mine is. ^_^ She's awesome. Happy Mothers' Day! <3
Friday, May 8, 2009
Horse riding
Alright, it's been a while since an update on my horse riding, so here I go! (Sorry, no recent pictures.)
Lessons have been pretty interesting lately. We've done a lot of loping, jogging and lots of walking. lol For the last couple of times I've been, we've worked on jumping. That's really difficult in an English saddle, which has really no horn, or anything to hold onto. Well, I thought that would be hard..... today, I was proved wrong. I thought we would just walk around, probably jog a bit..... what a surprise it was for me!
We were jumping.... with only a bareback pad, which tends to slip back whenever the horse moves, and our legs to hold us on. And guess what.... we survived! lol Kristen and I, at least I think Kristen did, have fun. It was hard, jumping with nothing to really grip, but yeah, it was a good experience.... and now I am super sore. XD And we've only ridden those horses once before, so it's even more amazing.
Anyways, just another update from my rather boring life. On a plus, Kara and I are getting together Saturday to have a blast. ^_^
Lessons have been pretty interesting lately. We've done a lot of loping, jogging and lots of walking. lol For the last couple of times I've been, we've worked on jumping. That's really difficult in an English saddle, which has really no horn, or anything to hold onto. Well, I thought that would be hard..... today, I was proved wrong. I thought we would just walk around, probably jog a bit..... what a surprise it was for me!
We were jumping.... with only a bareback pad, which tends to slip back whenever the horse moves, and our legs to hold us on. And guess what.... we survived! lol Kristen and I, at least I think Kristen did, have fun. It was hard, jumping with nothing to really grip, but yeah, it was a good experience.... and now I am super sore. XD And we've only ridden those horses once before, so it's even more amazing.
Anyways, just another update from my rather boring life. On a plus, Kara and I are getting together Saturday to have a blast. ^_^
Monday, May 4, 2009
May the Fourth be with you
Alright, so much I want to say, and yet I don't know how to say it. And of course I'm typing this when I should be doing something a little more productive. XD But I figured it was time for an update.
Alright, to start with the reason for the title. XD Funny thing. I was talking to Elder Hale, one of the senior missionary couples at the 'tute', and Bro. Livingstone, one of the teachers greeted Elder Hale with "May the Fourth be with you." And I couldn't help it. XD I responded with "May the Fifth be tomorrow." It was great. XD
I've decided I don't like the end of semesters. It means so much is coming to an end. And this year is the year I look forward to the least. As hard as this semester was, it went by so fast. But I assume that's how it will go from now on. But this year, what's got me down the most, is that the Chesley's will no longer be serving at the Institute. =/ Tomorrow night will be the last time I see them for who knows how long. It makes me sad, because they've been such a big part of the institute experience for me. They've been there for me to talk to when I thought I was alone and had no friends, and even just between classes. They've become an extra set of grandparents. Whenever I see them, I get a hug from both, and they treat me like their own granddaughter. (They call me their adopted "daughter".) I've learned so much from them. I may not apply everything yet, but they've been amazing. Heavenly Father really blessed me through their friendship. I will definitely keep in touch with them.
So now that I got that out of the way, hopefully I'll stop crying. (Yes, that's how much they mean to me.)
This year has really been one of growth so far. I'm starting to make changes that I really wish I would have started sooner. I know what that statement means. :O "OMG COURTNEY IS NOT A PERFECT ANGEL." Just had to get that out. Even I, who appears to be "perfect" has SOOOOOOOO many things to improve, and create habits that will last me a lifetime. I'm just hoping it's not too late for some of them. I'm learning to rely a little more on Heavenly Father, although I've got a long ways to go. My current quote, which I hope will remain up on my mirror after the cleaners come, is from D & C 6:36. It's one that stuck out at me this time through the D & C. It says, "Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not." Short, and easily memorized, but to me, very powerful.
Anyways, I just thought I'd give a quick update. For all of those that are there for me, I thank you. Even if I don't recognize it or am too wrapped up in my selfishness to notice, I appreciate all that everyone has done for me. It really means a lot.
Hopefully another little update will come in the next day or two. Thanks for reading!
Alright, to start with the reason for the title. XD Funny thing. I was talking to Elder Hale, one of the senior missionary couples at the 'tute', and Bro. Livingstone, one of the teachers greeted Elder Hale with "May the Fourth be with you." And I couldn't help it. XD I responded with "May the Fifth be tomorrow." It was great. XD
I've decided I don't like the end of semesters. It means so much is coming to an end. And this year is the year I look forward to the least. As hard as this semester was, it went by so fast. But I assume that's how it will go from now on. But this year, what's got me down the most, is that the Chesley's will no longer be serving at the Institute. =/ Tomorrow night will be the last time I see them for who knows how long. It makes me sad, because they've been such a big part of the institute experience for me. They've been there for me to talk to when I thought I was alone and had no friends, and even just between classes. They've become an extra set of grandparents. Whenever I see them, I get a hug from both, and they treat me like their own granddaughter. (They call me their adopted "daughter".) I've learned so much from them. I may not apply everything yet, but they've been amazing. Heavenly Father really blessed me through their friendship. I will definitely keep in touch with them.
So now that I got that out of the way, hopefully I'll stop crying. (Yes, that's how much they mean to me.)
This year has really been one of growth so far. I'm starting to make changes that I really wish I would have started sooner. I know what that statement means. :O "OMG COURTNEY IS NOT A PERFECT ANGEL." Just had to get that out. Even I, who appears to be "perfect" has SOOOOOOOO many things to improve, and create habits that will last me a lifetime. I'm just hoping it's not too late for some of them. I'm learning to rely a little more on Heavenly Father, although I've got a long ways to go. My current quote, which I hope will remain up on my mirror after the cleaners come, is from D & C 6:36. It's one that stuck out at me this time through the D & C. It says, "Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not." Short, and easily memorized, but to me, very powerful.
Anyways, I just thought I'd give a quick update. For all of those that are there for me, I thank you. Even if I don't recognize it or am too wrapped up in my selfishness to notice, I appreciate all that everyone has done for me. It really means a lot.
Hopefully another little update will come in the next day or two. Thanks for reading!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
End of semester
Alright, so I'm horrible at keeping my blog updated. XD Oh well.
So, basically, I hate this time of year. It's stressful, boring, and well..... the end of a semester. Okay, I'm not being entirely truthful. This is actually the first year I am looking FORWARD to my exams.... well, one exam. The other one has me scared to death. ¬.¬
I know, it must sound crazy to be looking forward to an exam, but hey.... It's one heck of an exam. ;) We're playing kickball with our 5th/6th grade pen pals in my professor/teacher's grade school class. It's gonna be awesome. :D Now.... I just have to get them a little present. =/ (I have 2 pen pals, while most people only have one.)
As for my other final, it's basically just a project, and I have to figure out what to do for a student that needs help in the class. My student is the sweetest little girl (2nd grade). Well, the entire class is awesome! They're so enthusiastic and cute. :) But yeah, she's actually pretty well off compared to some of the other 2nd graders that people in my class are working with. Basically though, I have to figure out what reading stage she's in, and come up with lesson plans to help her.... I wish my teacher had explained things to us earlier on, though. Since technically next week is the "last" week for interning. (I'm going to ask my mentor teacher if she minds if I come in for the rest of their school year. And if I can, I'm going to go to the end of the year party/day.)
So, besides ending a semester, these next couple of weeks are going to be bringing beginnings. I signed up to audition for Hale Theatre's Beauty and the Beast. So, I'm excited and nervous for that. :D And I've also got classes starting. ¬.¬ I have a 2 day class on the Arizona Constitution the Friday/Saturday after the semester ends, and then I've got classes all throughout July. (Stupid BLE 220, and the Freshman filling it up for the Spring '09 semester. ¬.¬)
Anyways, that's pretty much where I'm at. Ending some things, beginning new ones, continuing in other things. But hey, that's life.
So, basically, I hate this time of year. It's stressful, boring, and well..... the end of a semester. Okay, I'm not being entirely truthful. This is actually the first year I am looking FORWARD to my exams.... well, one exam. The other one has me scared to death. ¬.¬
I know, it must sound crazy to be looking forward to an exam, but hey.... It's one heck of an exam. ;) We're playing kickball with our 5th/6th grade pen pals in my professor/teacher's grade school class. It's gonna be awesome. :D Now.... I just have to get them a little present. =/ (I have 2 pen pals, while most people only have one.)
As for my other final, it's basically just a project, and I have to figure out what to do for a student that needs help in the class. My student is the sweetest little girl (2nd grade). Well, the entire class is awesome! They're so enthusiastic and cute. :) But yeah, she's actually pretty well off compared to some of the other 2nd graders that people in my class are working with. Basically though, I have to figure out what reading stage she's in, and come up with lesson plans to help her.... I wish my teacher had explained things to us earlier on, though. Since technically next week is the "last" week for interning. (I'm going to ask my mentor teacher if she minds if I come in for the rest of their school year. And if I can, I'm going to go to the end of the year party/day.)
So, besides ending a semester, these next couple of weeks are going to be bringing beginnings. I signed up to audition for Hale Theatre's Beauty and the Beast. So, I'm excited and nervous for that. :D And I've also got classes starting. ¬.¬ I have a 2 day class on the Arizona Constitution the Friday/Saturday after the semester ends, and then I've got classes all throughout July. (Stupid BLE 220, and the Freshman filling it up for the Spring '09 semester. ¬.¬)
Anyways, that's pretty much where I'm at. Ending some things, beginning new ones, continuing in other things. But hey, that's life.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Ren Festival Pictures 2009
Alright, here are the much anticipated pictures. :D
The little blue car in the tire place, before they changed the tire.
Alana getting Henna done on her foot.
Jousting tournament, Pirate and Sir Joseph...... I think.
Again, jousting.
Not many pictures, but I sure had a blast! :D
The little blue car in the tire place, before they changed the tire.
Alana getting Henna done on her foot.
Jousting tournament, Pirate and Sir Joseph...... I think.
Again, jousting.
Not many pictures, but I sure had a blast! :D
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Renaissance Festival 2009
Alright, it's been a while, but here is the promised post about the Renaissance Festival.
We (Alana, Mallory, and I) got on our way about 10 am, only to find out the car we were taking had a flat, but we had already driven on it, so that tire was ruined. We then went and spent a good hour at the tire place getting a new tire.
We finally left the shop by 10:15am, and were back to heading on our way. I was keeping Janine up to date, since we were meeting there, as I had all the tickets.
We finally arrived a little before noon and waited for Janine and her hubby. When they arrived, we entered the Faire grounds and our first stop was to get food. Alana and I got turkey legs.... which I decided I'm NEVER eating again. They were amazing, but a pain to eat. After eating, we continued to wander around for the next few hours. One of the last things we did was to watch the jousting tournament at 2:30 pm. I got a parasol just before that. A beautiful blue one. :D...... anyways, tangent. We watched the tournament, which had a Pirates of the Caribbean feel to it. (I blame the drunk pirate. LOL) After that was over, we and Janine split up, and headed our own ways.
So, that's the shortened version of the day. Hopefully pictures will be up soon.
We (Alana, Mallory, and I) got on our way about 10 am, only to find out the car we were taking had a flat, but we had already driven on it, so that tire was ruined. We then went and spent a good hour at the tire place getting a new tire.
We finally left the shop by 10:15am, and were back to heading on our way. I was keeping Janine up to date, since we were meeting there, as I had all the tickets.
We finally arrived a little before noon and waited for Janine and her hubby. When they arrived, we entered the Faire grounds and our first stop was to get food. Alana and I got turkey legs.... which I decided I'm NEVER eating again. They were amazing, but a pain to eat. After eating, we continued to wander around for the next few hours. One of the last things we did was to watch the jousting tournament at 2:30 pm. I got a parasol just before that. A beautiful blue one. :D...... anyways, tangent. We watched the tournament, which had a Pirates of the Caribbean feel to it. (I blame the drunk pirate. LOL) After that was over, we and Janine split up, and headed our own ways.
So, that's the shortened version of the day. Hopefully pictures will be up soon.
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