Every time I close my eyes to sleep, I can't. Yes, I realize that right now it's not even 9PM my time.
But every time I try to sleep, I keep thinking about how my superiors gave me a task, and no matter what, it's not good enough. And that gets me thinking that if what I'm doing isn't good enough for them, then I must suck as a teacher.
Which leads me to thinking that if I suck as a teacher, then maybe I shouldn't have kids because I'll suck at that.
And that is why I can't sleep. All those thoughts send me to tears that I can't control, and then I can't breathe, and it's an awful cycle.
Whenever I get anxious about work, or in other words, when I'm afraid my boss/supervisors disapprove or are not impressed with my efforts, I try to focus on what is true -- not on what MIGHT be true. Always remember that if you have a good boss, she or he will be open to discussion and willing to give feedback if you sincerely ask for better direction on an assignment you're given. In a lot of cases, you discover you're not doing as badly as you fear you are. I don't know the details of your situation, but I bet you're doing better than you think. Lastly, it's ok to struggle at an assignment. it's hard emotionally, but that's how we get better at our jobs.
ReplyDeleteAlso, about you "sucking" at the kid thing, that's a falsehood. So don't even dwell there. :-)
Remember, focus on what's true.