Fears

I have problems. Big problems for this day and age in time.

I have some of the most stupid fears that I have no idea how I got them or how to help them.

My less important fear is bugs. They leave me alone, I'm fine. They come in my territory, I will take them out (with minimal screaming). They come anywhere near me or startle me in any way, I will have a full blown freak out. (The joys of being a girl. lol)

The next fear is death. I hate thinking about dying. I don't mind the idea of moving on per se, I just don't like the ways of moving on. Death, no big deal. Dying, Scary as all get out. But I'm sure everyone doesn't like that whole thing.

My biggest fear, and the most irrational is calling. I am terrified of calling and terrified of answering calls. More the calling than answering. I'm fine answering as long as the number comes up with a name from my contact list. I will not call. Like, at all. I do what I absolutely have to now, but I still have panic attacks sometimes when I have to call. I don't know why. I do know I want to fix it, but I don't have an idea how to.


Anyways, it bugs me that I can't call. The only thing I can think is that I don't get the visual cues so I have to ask people to repeat it, and I do that several times, so I feel bad and like an idiot.